5 days more :P

5 days more to go, and I'm turning the big 21.

Hard to believe how ancient I'm getting.

I can still remember how blur I was when I first entered UPM.

Man, we've come a long way. (Fesyen rambut pun dah berapa kali tukar dah ;p)

Now, it's half the journey done, and another half more to go, before adding the 'DR' in front of our names. Hehe.

But before that, kena habiskan studies dulu. Professional exam II pun tak lepas lagi. ;P

Before going to OBE (in first year)

During the visit to NIOSH (2nd year)

In Kuala Kubu Baru, during one of those public health visits (2nd year)

To whom it may concern ;D

By the way, I didn't intend to write two entries in a day, but I would like to apologize for my bitchfit attitude for the past two days. Starting friday and spreading to saturday.

Sorry to hani, who tried to cheer me up on ym on friday night itself, but I talked like nak tak nak je. Thanks to sheflee for caring enough, sending me an sms (more like THE SMS) to make things better.

Sorry to dearest bakyah, izzati in new zealand and seb, because i've been calling and smssing u guys non stop. Bakyah, thanks for the advice, and listening to all the crap I have to say, although like 90% of it is untrue (well we know now ;p). Zet, thanks for trying to give your expert advice on relationships and dating (although you're having your own problems to handle yourself), and showing me that you are there for me although far away. And for seb, thanks for keeping me level-headed, making me not as paranoid as I was when I called you.

And thanks to my brother for being a major pain in the ass, but your advice hit me right where my heart is, and I followed it. :P

To those who "terkena tempias" bitch fit, well, I'm sorry. :D

Greet me

Do I have something written on my face? Like "Greet me" or what so ever. I don't get why people I meet just tends to want to strike a conversation with me this few days.

For instance when I went to the Hospital Kuala Lumpur yesterday for a scrubbing class, which was meant to start at 8.30am (but it actually started at 10am due to the sister eating and other people coming late), when I was walking the usual path I take to go to the wards from the parking space, suddenly out of the blue, the security guard, a Malay pakcik in his late 50s probably just decides to say hi. I was mighty suprised, because I was minding my own business, with my ears listening to my walkman and I was in a pretty bad mood. (If you read my previous entry, I was still in bitchfit mode at that point).

The conversation goes like this

Pakcik : Hai! Kamu bekerja ke hari ni? Saya ingat kamu ni pelajar, rupanya bekerja.

Me : A'ah. Pelajar. Hari ni ada kelas.

Pakcik : Oh. Ok. Sorang je?

Me : Tak. Tengah tunggu member datang ni.

Pakcik : Oklah. Bye!!

And he ended the conversation with this mighty glowing smile. Hehe. Instantly, my bitchfit mode changed to smiley mode. I actually felt better because the pakcik who was a stranger decides to strike a conversation and gave a smile to me.

Then in the Operation theater, we were waiting for the sister or scrub nurse what so ever to finish her breakfast, then proceed to teach us. While we were waiting near the beds, checking out the operation schedule, suddenly this nurse (wearing scrubs but with a blue shower cap) walks beside me and says "Good morning!" (while looking straight at my face).

My friends (those who attended the scrubbing class that day) were suprised too, because she only greeted me. Is it lucky or what?

Then just now, when I was out with my mum, we stopped by some stalls promoting some sort of kitchen equipments and stuff, and I was trying to blend in with the crowd, suddenly one of the promoters just decides to talk to me. It goes like this

Promoter : Hey. Mudanya kamu! Umur brape?

Me : 21.

Promoter : Samalah. Saya pun 21.

Me : (just blinks and tries to stop the conversation from going further --> tired of entertaining people seriously)

She then stares at my face, then clothes, then hair.

Promoter goes on : Rambut kamu.. ada warna ye?

Me : (nodds head)

Promoter : Berapa ye?

Me : Jangan tanye lah (laughs --> sign of trying to make her shut up)

Promoter : Saya pun warna rambut. Highlight la. Dalam rm80. (shows her hair --> which was highlighted in bright pink and orange, trying to follow the Japanese fashion concept I guess)

Me : Owh. (Smiles glumly)

I then looked away. My mum was engaged in a conversation with another promoter, she wanted to buy the microwave oven what-so-ever that the stall was promoting.

Promoter goes on again : Kamu ada kerja?

Me : Tak. Belajar lagi.

Promoter : Belajar? Tak mahu kerja ke?

Me : Habis belajar dulu lah.

Promoter : Owh. Brapa lame lagi mau habis?

Me : Dalam 2 tahun setengah lagi.

Promoter : Lamanya!! Nanti terus kerja la ye?

Me : A'ah. Mungkin sambung belajar lagi.

Promoter : Belajar lagi? Tak mau kerja ye?

Me : (smiles again. thinking when this pep talk is going to end)

Promoter : Kamu ada masak?

Me : (shakes head. actually I can cook but I knew it is going to make the conversation go on)

Promoter : Selalu makan di luar la?

Me : (nodds head)

Promoter : Owh. Tak bagus la. Nanti tak dapat vitamin tau.

Me : (smiles again)

Then I took out my handphone, to top up (before that I got the card, tapi belum top up yet), and then I smssed someone.

Promoter : Cantik nye handphone (upon seeing the handphone)

Me : (smiles)

Promoter : Balas sms boyfriend ye?

Me : Taklah. Tak de boyfriend.

Promoter : (laughs) Boleh saya tengok?

She begins looking at the pictures in the handphone, and checking out the music and all. Adalah gambar2 dalam OT, taken before (us in scrubs and all)

Promoter : Kamu belajar di hospital ye?

Me : (nodds head)

Promoter : Handphone ni bagus la. Bagi saya?

Me : (freaking hell no. but smiles anyway)

Promoter : Kamu takut darah tak?

Me : Dah biasa tengok dah.

Promoter : (smiles) Kamu percaya tak saya dah ada baby?

She is freakingly thin, but I kinda believe it.

Me : (nodds head)

Promoter : Memang saya ada. Umur die 9 bulan. Tapi dia duduk di perak.

Me : Siapa jaga? Mak mertua? Mak?

Promoter : Mak. Nanti die dalam umur 2, 3 tahun, boleh la tinggal di sini.

Me : Owh. Suami kerja mana?

Promoter : Danau kota.

Me : Owh.

Then my mum bought the microwave oven (finally), and I can get away from that promoter.


Does my face have "greet me" written on my forehead or something?

S.O.S .. study mode needed..

A picture says a thousand words right?

This is what I'm thinking of right now.

And the sentence in white below says ' my gateway to a medical degree'. ;p

Study people, our final exam is in january. And there's so much to read.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

So close but yet so far

It is so annoying. Just when you are about to fall head over heel for some guy (for whatever reasons there may be), suddenly that one guy, the dude, the person you think you might have a chance to live happily ever after (well probably not happily ever after, but happily enough to spend your weekends with) decides to say or do stuff that makes you think over.

Just suddenly they decide to say something about the course you are taking. About how being a medical student changes the very aspect of making a relationship, and medical students can only go with guys from engineering faculties or doctors to be. (Well i tried going with that electrical engineer to be from UTP and it didn't work, so there!)

Then you realise they are just like you, checking you out, but still keeping another eye open for other girlfriend to be girls, just like you are checking other guys in case this one guy decides to break your heart. Or almost break your heart.

What a crappy world. Everyone taking care for their own heart, so who says we should just stick to that one person??

Now i'm feeling crappy. Should watch heroes and drool all over Peter Petrelli or that new dude who can fly, Wes (am I wrong with his name?), and probably my heart would soften up a little.

Medical student = eating

I think there's one thing that medical students in my university is good in. I don't know about other batches above or below me, but the medical students in my batch are really good at eating. Especially if the food provided is free. Seriously.

For instance if there is any function in the faculty (usually it starts with the speeches held in Dewan Kuliah Utama, FPSK, UPM and ends with the meal provided by the faculty in the foyer of FPSK, UPM), we medical students will be among the first few to rush out of the DKU to get the food. Amazingly, sometimes when I just get out of the hall after the speech ends, I can catch a few of the students in my batch already eating a sumptous meal from the plate out of the hall. How fast is that? Faster than the speed of lightning or superman I tell you.

Not to mention about the open houses during raya. Everytime there's an open house going to be held, and the news announced in front of the class, the food in that house usually finishes. Hehe. We medical students eat a lot. Especially if its free. That's why most of us don't mind driving far, even to banting, bangi, keramat or wherever to get great food. Plus great company. (Ayu rumah you makan sedap la ;D especially the mi soto)

Like today. Me, arifah, mimi and intan went to HKL, in hopes to get to watch at least one major surgery in the Operation Theather (OT). Then suddenly Mimi mentioned about a jamuan raya held in 7th floor of Grand Seasons Hotel (her neighbour works here) and said that the jamuan raya was open to public (or also known as us!). So we walked all the way to Grand Seasons, with our 'muka tebal', and backpacks (unlike the other people there who are in their best raya outfits, we were smelling like puke, blood and feces i think - the surgery was right hemicolectomy before), and taking the plates and started to eat. Hehe.

But the food tasted great. And I am just a fan of chocolate, and there was 3 chocolate cakes up for grabs. Yay!

Therefore, medical student = eating. Hehehe.

the jamuan raya open to public

the medical students eating

the 3 types of chocolate cake :D from top right plate, there is chocolate with icing and chocolate brownie, while in the bottom left there is moist chocolate cake .. heaven.. but hell for the diet!! ;p

Kisah anak dara, anak itik dan anak buaya

It has been well known among the groups currently in Hospital Kuala Lumpur that my group is one of those with all female students in it, and all malay too. The other group with all female students is Husna's group which is supposed to be in Hospital Serdang, but currently "menjadi parasit" in Hospital Kuala Lumpur too.

As usual, on days where our supervisor Mr G can't spend time with us for bedsite tutorial, our whole group will be attending his clinic in the evening. (yup all ten of us cramped in the small room, with the patient and the doctor hehe ;p)

If there is any interesting cases, our doctor would call all of us to go to the patient, so we can actually inspect the interesting signs or symptoms that can be elicited on the patient. He will usually say something like this

"Anak dara anak dara sekalian!! Pergi ke patient __sekian2___"

(amazingly sometimes he speaks in Malay, fluently too!!)

But on that day he said something like this

"Kamu nak dipanggil apa, anak-anak ke anak ayam ke anak itik?"

Of course la our group members are confused with this question, so we asked

"Bukan anak dara ke?"

Our supervisor laughed.

He answered "Mana boleh panggil anak dara selagi tak disahkan anak dara!! (laughs again) Jadi nak jadi anak ayam ke anak itik?"

So our group agreed to the title anak itik. (terbayang iklan digi yang itik2 kuning line up wif itik purple and merah skali ;p)

Then after sometime, when there's only 4 of us left, there's this patient who had some sort of hematoma in his hand, so our supervisor aspirated the fluid from it. Somehow, he started to bleed, so I was in charge with taking the goss and bandage.

At that point, the other 3 of the members were in the procedure room, checking out a proctoscopy procedure (and the rear view of a patient with internal hemorrhoids).

When I went in the clinic with the goss and bandage, the supervisor and the nurse in charge of the room was smiling (sort of mischeviously actually.)

Then the nurse said "Nak bagitau die ke?" looking at the supervisor.

The supervisor then smiled, looked at me and said "Ada nama baru untuk kamu. Bukan anak itik tapi anak buaya!" while he was wrapping the bandage around the patient's arm, ending with a laugh.

"Anak buaya?" of course I was even more puzzled by this remark.

"Sebab, (supervisor's name) adalah bapak buaya.. jadi kamu semua anak buaya lah!" the nurse exclaimed and both she and the supervisor laughed their hearts out.

Jadi anak anak buaya boleh la berenang dan gigit orang lain ye?? ;p

Why oh why

Man. I'm a wreck. The same feelings flooding again. The increased heart beat, cold at the hands. Am I falling for someone all over again? Haven't feel this way since september last year, when I fell for some scum-bag-loser-player.

Why now of all the time? Why now during surgery posting, when I am trying to concentrate and actually get a great review for my log book, and am actually not looking for someone (after all the months of trying to get to know people)?

And the worse part is I can actually feel myself falling head down, with this one person. Damn!

x x x


I'll be heading to Intan's crib today, who I think will be the last of the open house for raya I would be attending. After going to an fro to serdang, upm, banting, keramat, I think I've tasted almost everything that could be served in an open house.

But all in all, it was a great experience, going in a group driving from one house to another, although I am always the last car in the convoi, due to my slow driving, and my poor sense of directions. Sigh.

Older relationships have been renewed during this time, hopefully everything would be neutral from now on.


x x x x

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, mine and especially those who are close to me. After all,

We make those who care for us cry.
We cry for those who never care for us.
And we care for those who will never cry for us.

Ramblings

I hate waiting in general. Waiting for friends when they come late for a meeting. Waiting for friends who are 'on the way' or indirectly saying 'God I'm don't know how late I would be?' when we are supposed to meet up for a hang out session one hour ago. And most of all I hate waiting for a reply of an sms, especially when I am lonely, or when I am really desperate for company. And that's how I feel right now, at this very second. Why is this certain person not replying my sms?? Busy sangat ke?? Too many people smssing at the same time?? No credit? Fell asleep?? Why? Why?

Then I'd start to get frustrated and start checking my phone book, wondering who I should sms or call next. Well, I can't wait forever right? Life must go on. Then suddenly the person I've been trying to contact sms me half way when I'm happily contacting another person. Of course la takkan layan. Come on la. You chose not to contact me first. Haha.

X X X X


This month is my favourite month. The month where I turn older each year. And waiting for who will greet me on that very special day. Last year, someone I least expected called me up and wished me happy birthday, and that one phone call made my day. I realised he still cared about me, and wanted me to know that he still remembers my birthday. Hehe. Probably this time around I would do that for him. After all, his birthday is just 3 days before mine. :P


X X X X


Peer pressure for other people is to smoke. To do drugs. To have sex. To club. In my case, it is to lose weight. The road to fitness, as they say. Yeah. Peer pressure. Pushes you to the limit.


X X X X


I have an eye for that one person. Finally. But...