Ketika traffic jam

Hujan turun dengan lebat. Elina sedang menunggu di dalam kereta berhampiran stesen KL Sentral.
Menunggu kelibat seorang jejaka, Hassan, teman terbarunya.

"Kringggg"

"Hello.. ha, saya kat belakang kereta Storm tu.. ha.. " kata Elina lalu meletakkan telefonnya.

Tidak lama kemudian, ternampak bayang seorang lelaki, bergalaskan beg di sisi, berlari menuju ke kereta.

Elina memandang lelaki itu yang sibuk mengambil tisu dari kotak tisu yang tersedia di atas dashboard kereta Kelisa merah tu.

Rambutnya yang tersusun rapi, badannya kurus, matanya bulat. Kulitnya kuning sawo matang.
Terdapat misai dan janggut di mukanya. Kemas. Inilah Hassan, gentak hati Elina. Teman lelaki baru ku.

Lelaki itu memandang ke arah Elina.

"Ha, jadi nak pergi mana lak lepas ni? Basah kuyup saya lari dalam hujan"

Elina tersenyum. Lantas masukkan gear kereta, bersedia untuk drive ke tempat seterusnya.

"Pergi Mid Valley" jawab Elina.

"Mid Valley?" tanya Hassan lagi.

"Ha, kan nak makan. Tak nak carik tempat yang open air skrang. Nanti basah lagi nak naik kedai makan. Kat mid valley parking tertutup. Tak la kuyup" kata Elina lagi.

"Okeh" kata Hassan lalu memasang tali keledar.

Hari Jumaat. Malam.

Traffic jam dari jalan keluar dari KL Sentral menuju ke arah Mid Valley.

"Haish. Nak pergi Mid Valley pon dah jam macam ni" kata Hassan. Matanye memandang ke kereta-kereta di hadapan kereta Kelisa Elina.

"Biasalah, hari Jumaat. Malam kot. Lagi-lagi hujan macam ni ha." jawab Elina.

Hassan terdiam.

Tetiba, die memandang ke arah Elina yang sedang memandu kereta.

"Awak.. awak tau tak.."

Elina memandang ke arah Hassan pula.

"Antara banyak-banyak orang yang saya pernah contactla kan, awak yang layan saya paling teruk tau."

"Hah??" Elina tergelak.

"Apasal pulak paling teruk?" tanye Elina pula.

Hassan pula tergelak sekali.

"Yelah, kalo girl lain, asyik nak call je tiap jam, nak message je selalu. Awak ni.. saya call bukannya nak angkat. Bukan nak message saya pon. Penat saya tunggu. Baru je start balas message, tetibe lak sedar-sedar diam je. Rupanya dah tido. Memang penat la saya ni nak tunggu awak tau." terangkan Hassan.

Elina terdiam. Memang betul pon cakap Hassan. Die seakan cuba mengelak Hassan. Tetapi hakikatnya Hassan memang teman lelaki barunya. Selepas Razy dan die bergaduh.

Dah hampir 7 bulan tidak contact Razy.

Bila Hassan berkenalan dengannya, terus Hassan menyatakan minat untuk menjadi lebih dari kawan.

Elina menerima, tetapi hatinya bukan terbuka sepenuhnya buat Hassan. Masih teringatkan Razy. Terkenang-kenang.

"Awak tu.. antara banyak-banyak lelaki saya pernah contact.. awak yang paling banyak contact saya tau! Asyik call, message.. macam tak de keje je nak buat tau.." kata Elina pulak.

Hassan tersenyum.

"Yelah, saya nak tau awak macam mane. Saya nak tau awak buat apa. Saya nak tunjuk saya care pasal awak. Tu je."

Terus Hassan memandang ke arah lampu-lampu neon di tepi jalan yang penuh dengan kereta-kereta itu. Hujan semakin lebat.

Elina pon switch off radio. Signal tak clear. Tak dengar pon lagu apa yang dimainkan.

"Best jugak tau ada orang care pasal saya." kata Elina.

Hassan terus memandang Elina, menyentuh rambutnya, menolak ke belakang telinga lantas berkata, "Tau pon".

18 weeks

The screen saver.

A closer look.

Yeah. 18 more weeks to THE exam.

I guess it just seems so near now that we are already in 2010. Back then in 2009, it seemed a bit far away.


I had a case presentation the other day, and I would admit, I haven't been presenting well lately. Sometimes I have a problem on understanding what the lecturers want as an answer. I just couldn't comprehend. But I could still work on that problem.

When I presented the other day, I got scolded badly. And when I said badly, it was like real bad, like a tsunami hitting the ocean bad. Seriously.

Despite that, I guess, all my clinical years in medical school so far has taught me well enough to not break down in front of people even though I feel that my heart is being broken into a gazillion pieces by the biggest hammer ever. Putting up a brave front is pretty hard to do when the lecturer is dissecting my very sentences, to the very words I used to describe the case. But I guess it's all for a good reason. To prepare us to be better doctors.


She then said something like this "All of you are doctors until proven otherwise. That's why I would treat you as that."


I never really thought it that way before this. I thought we are medical students until proven as doctors. Maybe that's the problem. I keep on being stuck on thinking about how to pass exams and all, when I should look at the bigger picture. I should look at how to save lives, and how to prevent deaths. All the knowledge gained today is to be useful for my whole life. Everything taught by the lecturers are to help me make decisions when I'm stuck all by myself in the ward and an emergency happens, and all the decision making is made by me.


18 weeks left. The very last semester, the very last lap to run before the race ends.


We can do this! (as all the doctors who had done it before)