Random nothingness : Mistaken Feelings

I think sometimes I seem too friendly for my own good. I smile a lot these days. Some people have mistaken these friendliness for liking them instead. Damn it! I treat everyone almost equally, the same level of friendliness, honestness and so on. (except for those closer to me, they are treated a bit more special :D)


There's this dude who was flirting with me the whole time (basicly for the 2 months or so), and I was just being friendly, or going with the flow with him. I didn't like him (as in like to be my boyfriend like la), just being comfortable and stuff la. Then suddenly he sat me down, and told me something like this "Urm Farah, I want to make this clear, I don't think I could be a good boyfriend, I couldn't care enough or spend enough time with my girlfriend." He's single by the way.


Of course I was like "what the hell is this about?" but was just thinking it, not saying it out loud.


What I actually said was "urm..?" -- making a blur face at the same time.


"No.. it's just that I don't want to give you hope, that I want to be your boyfriend" he answered.


WHAT THE FUCK wei!! If I have the heart for you, if I really did like you, I would have been contacting you like 24/7, constantly trying to reach out for you and so on. I just sms you once in a week or something and not even flirting and you are telling me that you don't want to give me hope? What the fuck! If you are that damnnnn attractive, you would have had a girlfriend already, some bitch must have been already hunting me down to kick my sorry ass for so called "disturbing" her boyfriend!


I don't like it that people actually think that I have the heart for them but I don't, as if I'm the one who wants them that much. Bitch.


So instead of bitchfitting in front of this dude, I just said with a fucked up face "Owh, I'm not expecting anything from you"


And then he said "so.. when are we going to go on a date? I miss the day that we drank coffee together in Starbucks, we should do it more often"


Hell? What is this? He doesn't want to give me hope but wants to go on a date and drink coffee with me? Screwed up weh, totally messed up.