Because this small space in the blogging arena feels so different, it doesn't feel like it belongs to me anymore. I don't feel like I can pour out my heart and soul into this blog, writing whatever strikes me at the moment of time. This blog is supposed to be where I can hide out, away from reality, and curse, or talk about sappy romantic fantasies and not everyone should know.
And I can't simply write here anymore without considering who else could probably read it, and in the end, the entry has changed so much that I just decide to delete it and wait another day.
It would be great just to put a summary of what happens to me day to day as an entry, but that does not represent who I am. I exaggerate. I am emotional. I am irrational at times.
To put all those with everything that is happening around me, through my point of view, and not get on to anyone's nerves is pretty hard. I've tried doing that and people don't leave comments at my blog, but instead tell me straight to the face or other forms of electronic devices available nowadays.
Where is the freedom of speech? I'm not talking politics here. Just mere day to day events that may seem to fascinate me in one day or another. But even that seems to be a problem nowadays. One thing that fascinates me may be a disasterous memory for another.
I asked myself, why then do I still bother keeping this blog? I'm not updating it as much as I used to.
I don't even update it the way I used to write entries.
It's like this blog is a coin, and I flipped it, to change the side of the coin which is facing up. And now I'm choosing to be silent.
Am I too busy? I could find time.
But, to restrict myself from writing what I really mean, that bothers me a lot.