on being unjoyful

I am a spiteful person. I'm not the cheerful, bubbly person who waves and smiles and laughs oh so easily like many others.
I am quiet, relatively at least, and I only talk easily to those I am close with.
I am very stern.
I don't speak in a sing song voice.

But, does it mean that I'm a bad person? Just because the way I present myself?
It amazes me about what other people perceive as being a good person.
If you speak so joyfully, even though you don't finish your work, you get away scot free.
And me on the other hand, the down to earth outright stern one, gets screwed.

Even with my family. Extended family I mean.
It's no surprise that I've been growing up in KL all this while, and just relocated to Kuching recently, about 3-4 months ago.

And there these people go, talking behind my back about how 'unjoyful' I could be. They perceive it as being rude.

Hah. Wait until I shout out profanities la, then you see what is rude.

But of course, I can't do that. Have to take good care of the image and all. But it just irritates me to no end. How what other people are doing annoys and bothers me so much that I start cursing them in my heart.

OMG.

Mintak Tuhan tenangkan jiwa ni. Like seriously.

I really need to get out of this hell hole and get back to where I belong.