Thursday, February 10, 2011

maybe I want to fly back after 2 years, immediately.

2nd post of the night. Just goes to show how much my mind wonders at this moment.

I'm supposed to be studying because big boss is going to be asking questions tomorrow. Have 3 more days to finish Paeds ICU, which is actually kind of fun, really. Boss is kinda cool, lets you do procedures and all, so it's great. Work load is a lot, but it's a great learning experience.

I am post call today. In this current posting, during most of my oncalls I'm able to sleep. Therefore, when I couldn't sleep, I'd be very cranky and super pissed. Yesterday I was oncall, able to sleep for almost 7 hours.

Then today after work, felt like I wanted to go out somewhere to have a nice dinner. The usual people I go out with are either oncall, or had people to entertain. Contacted some other people, and they too, have dinner plans.


Suddenly, I can hear the song Lonely by Akon playing in the background of my mind.

Post call and have no where to go? No plans at all?

Definitely spells out L O S .. don't want to finish that word though. :(

At times like this, when I'm awake, trying to read, but my mind keeps on wondering.. I keep on thinking, why did I choose to be here in the first place? Why?

Probably if I'm in KL I would be checking out places that would make me feel better.

Going to eat at places like Subway, Nando's.

It is depressing really.

Not having the core family around really sucks, no one really understands what is happening.

Having a new car to drive around also feels lonely. Maybe last time when my car is out of order, it was kinda fun to be driven around, because it reminds me of times when my father used to drive me off to HKL during my student days.

And now I'm staying alone, in a place I now have to adapt to call home, with people whom I think I knew, and trying to get to know people who are already having fun in their lives.

Why am I here again? Why?

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