I guess I got an epiphany yesterday. Or was it a day before because I just forgot about blogging it and went to work instead?
Anyways, most of the people who are my seniors already are packing their bags and leaving the hospital, as MOs. I guess it really is a bitter sweet moment, as HOs you do all the fucked up donkey work, get screwed from all sides, work not only as the so-called first liner, but also as the professional PPK to send blood, to take all the vital signs when the nurses are enjoying their chats in the pantry, and also to trace the results and get into the constant war with the lab staff just to make sure that the patient's blood results are doing fine. Yeah, that's what you go through as the HO. Although we are in that situation, the specialist always have our asses covered. No matter what. And now, that safety net is gone, and you have to survive on your own in this world. So they left, with smiles, but maybe their hearts are beating so fast, they couldn't even realize it, wondering "What will be the challenges that lie ahead?"
As I saw them walking away, maybe walking with their heads held high as they finished the 2 years needed to be call a full pledged doctor, I realized that no matter what, footsteps of them will always be in the hospital. Then I got that epiphany, maybe I want to be remembered for the good reasons. I want my stay to be memorable as a good doctor, as one who actually tries to save the world from devastation.
Maybe that's what I'll do in the few months to come before I say good bye too.
And after that, we all will part ways too. What's left? Just memories. And maybe to some, the bad memories will be remembered more rather than the good ones.