my infamous last words before exams.. :D

It's a new year. One more week to the professional exam II. TAKOTTT!!! huhu.. nervous.. blur.. sume ada.. kadang-kadang dapat rasa epigastric pain time makan.. stress ulcer?? gastritis?? huhu.. mcm2 ada beb.. it's during this time when you know you really have to study your mind starts wandering... where to go during the holidays? where is the new place to eat in town? what is the new movie now in the cinema?? typical emotions when exams are around the corner.

I wanted to do a list writing bout my past year, but I'll blog bout it later after the exams, hopefully everything goes on well. InsyaAllah.. :D

And during the last few days before the exam, banyak pulak lecturer nak bagi last minute tips bla3X... mr kwan la.. mr yap yy la.. mr gee la... mcm2 diorang nak cakap.. tapi mr yap tu paling best la.. mcm rasa dalam kem motivasi.. tapi more like motivasi for 2 hours in the lecture hall?? hehehe.. but it's great. no wonder he was one of the best medical students back then in USM (so someone said la..) :D

I'm blogging now sebab dari tadi dok tengok buku, but satu hapa pun tak masuk otak seh. Better relaxkan otak.. like a friend of mine once said "tidur la kejap. Otak tu dah penat pikir. Biarlah die rehat"... helloo friend.. kalo otak tu rehat, of course la kite ni dalam coma skrang ni tau!!.. Because we voluntary thinking and doing some of the actions, but mostly our subconcious mind is maintaining our state of equilibrium all the time.. even when we sleep!! medical talk again.. heheheh

That day I went to matrix pahang, my old matrix to give some motivation to the students there bla3x. I think i need motivation more actually hehe. Tapi what one of the students said really touched me. She has psoriasis, recently diagnosed about a month ago, baru start amik prednisolone bla3x.. so she became so depressed, when things don't go her way she start blaming it on the disease, and she started to say stuff like "how long am i going to live?" and so on and so forth. So i listened to what she has to say, she has psoriasis but most importantly, it is mild, and she has a bad case of depression (or so i think ;p) Jadi lepas dgr what she has to say, and after all the commotion with her questions about how long will her life span be.. i just told her this "u know. the important thing is you're alive, you're well, your heart is still beating, you're not peeing into a bag, you're not bedridden.. that is what matters. this psoriasis, you can fight it. it doesn't mean it's the end of the world. " then she said this "akak.. ni kali pertama saya rasa gembira sikit lepas tau saya dapat psoriasis. saya rasa akak ni memang sesuai betul jadi doktor"

OH MY GOD!! dgr die cakap macam tu.. i felt like crying!!!! huhuhuhuhu. tak sangka what i said actually touched her heart!!! especially when she kept on talking about dying and stuff. Makes me really want to be a doctor right now. That motivated me a lot. hehe.

Banyak lagi nak di blogkan sebenarnya... but i'll blog all about it later on after the exams. Skrang top priority study. Few days more, kenala struggle sampai ke titisan darah terakhir.. hehehe.. betul tak?? ;p

The clock is ticking

Time is moving reaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllyyyyyyyyy fast.

Suddenly you're at the end of your posting, and you have to face the mock exams.

Suddenly you're at the end of the year, waiting for the new year countdown.

Suddenly you realize you've been hanging out for almost 7 years with your high school besties.

Suddenly you've been close to your matrix guy pal for almost 4 years.

Gasp! Scary!!!!!! I'm getting old!! Well I hope I don't look that old though. :P

But that is what we mere humans usually least appreciate, time. We take it for granted. We wait for it to pass by, doing nothing basicly, watching movies, or just plain sleeping.

Then before we know it, our hair is turning white, we have wrinkles in our faces, and we are so close to death.

At that point, when the younger generation asks you "What have you done with your life?"

What shall you answer?

a) I've lived my life, worked as hard as possible, get lots of money that 3 generations ahead of me can live without working

b) I helped found a cure for cancer or a type of virus

c) I helped groom my children into imam's and leaders of religion

d) I became a great wife/husband to my significant other

e) I became a helped my parents and siblings

f) none of the above??

Haha. I'm still figuring out my answer as well. Haven't lived my life to the fullest yet. Still have a long way to go. God willing :D

Ni yang jeles nih

Tak boleh blah la. I paling tak tahan kalo girls yang shit gile makan banyak, tapi don't gain weight. Say what?? Serious benci benci benci!!! Lepas tu diorang leh makan donut everyday plak tu.. bukannya satu due.. tapi dekat sedozen, then still can eat mcD and nando's and everything and still stay stick thin. Gile tak boleh blah..

Bile nak kurus ni?? *sigh* (i know i know ayu... u dah ajak gi gym since bulan brape tah.. ;p)

Dear diary

It's true. I'm an ungrateful bitch. Seriously. I never realized that until one of my besties pointed it out straight to my face. I'm always in some kind of bitchfit mode if things don't go my way, but even if it did, I wouldn't appreciate it as it is.

Ok, bakyah, i'll learn to look at other people's hardships before complaining about my mere problems which are like a storm in a teacup compared to other people's problems which are like hurricanes hitting the roofs of their houses. :D

By the way, it was a great surprise my bestfriend and her boyfriend did for me. Treated me to TGIF's in OU, and gave me chocolates and a handbag. Hehehehe. Best, best!! I've always wanted to buy a new handbag, but haven't found one that is to my liking yet, but the handbag they gave to me (with the help of the other two besties choosing) wasn't that bad. Seriously. I would actually use it. But the fact that I was blindfolded before going to TGIF.. Man.. I felt lost without my CN II and III!!

Me being blindfolded by bakyah and seb (seb can't be seen because she's the one taking the pic)


This is the bff's bf's crew and me, and seb (in greed tudung) and bakyah at the furthermost end

In the end, I got to eat a great meal, albeit being surprised yet again by the TGIF's folks who sang the birthday song for me (although my birthday was like 3 weeks ago) Haha!! But it was a great birthday this year. I started off with a great meal in Chilli's (on the birthday itself) and ended with a great meal in TGIF's (3 weeks later). So this really makes up for all the past crappy birthday's I had. Hopefully I will have better birthdays in years to come :D

X X X X X

The mock exam for end posting is next week. And I really don't know how much I know and don't know. :P Hopefully everything goes on well though. THE professional exam II is on 21st January 2008. Approximately one month from today. And I know I should spend my time reading, and trying to answer past year questions, and doing lots of short cases in the hospital, but sometimes, I just feel like I want to go out, catch a movie, and do some retail therapy. *sigh*
I feel like going out, but when I watch most of my peers reading their heads off until their eyes turn like pandas the next day, I somehow feel guilty of even thinking bout going out. But then, I can't concentrate reading anymore. But then.. (see how the whole cycle goes again)

And I can't seem to finish my last case writeup on pancreatic pseudocyst, the discussion part is still not done yet. I feel like giving up on this damn case writeup, I've been on it for almost 2 days not, but I'm still not yet finished. Damn.

X X X X X

Recently, I keep on feeling hungry. Been eating a lot. And not working out. Damn. I guess I would balloon up after the exams in the state I am now. This requires desperate measures on controlling the food intake. *sigh*

X X X X X

My cousin is coming to KL on 24th December, she's registering into UiTM Shah Alam for a course in actuarial science. But I'm having my mock after Christmas, so I can't count on going shopping with her. But, I guess getting good results and passing will provide me with the ultimate happiness compared to periodic happiness during retail therapy.

Can't wait to get the exams over with. :D

Greet me

Do I have something written on my face? Like "Greet me" or what so ever. I don't get why people I meet just tends to want to strike a conversation with me this few days.

For instance when I went to the Hospital Kuala Lumpur yesterday for a scrubbing class, which was meant to start at 8.30am (but it actually started at 10am due to the sister eating and other people coming late), when I was walking the usual path I take to go to the wards from the parking space, suddenly out of the blue, the security guard, a Malay pakcik in his late 50s probably just decides to say hi. I was mighty suprised, because I was minding my own business, with my ears listening to my walkman and I was in a pretty bad mood. (If you read my previous entry, I was still in bitchfit mode at that point).

The conversation goes like this

Pakcik : Hai! Kamu bekerja ke hari ni? Saya ingat kamu ni pelajar, rupanya bekerja.

Me : A'ah. Pelajar. Hari ni ada kelas.

Pakcik : Oh. Ok. Sorang je?

Me : Tak. Tengah tunggu member datang ni.

Pakcik : Oklah. Bye!!

And he ended the conversation with this mighty glowing smile. Hehe. Instantly, my bitchfit mode changed to smiley mode. I actually felt better because the pakcik who was a stranger decides to strike a conversation and gave a smile to me.

Then in the Operation theater, we were waiting for the sister or scrub nurse what so ever to finish her breakfast, then proceed to teach us. While we were waiting near the beds, checking out the operation schedule, suddenly this nurse (wearing scrubs but with a blue shower cap) walks beside me and says "Good morning!" (while looking straight at my face).

My friends (those who attended the scrubbing class that day) were suprised too, because she only greeted me. Is it lucky or what?

Then just now, when I was out with my mum, we stopped by some stalls promoting some sort of kitchen equipments and stuff, and I was trying to blend in with the crowd, suddenly one of the promoters just decides to talk to me. It goes like this

Promoter : Hey. Mudanya kamu! Umur brape?

Me : 21.

Promoter : Samalah. Saya pun 21.

Me : (just blinks and tries to stop the conversation from going further --> tired of entertaining people seriously)

She then stares at my face, then clothes, then hair.

Promoter goes on : Rambut kamu.. ada warna ye?

Me : (nodds head)

Promoter : Berapa ye?

Me : Jangan tanye lah (laughs --> sign of trying to make her shut up)

Promoter : Saya pun warna rambut. Highlight la. Dalam rm80. (shows her hair --> which was highlighted in bright pink and orange, trying to follow the Japanese fashion concept I guess)

Me : Owh. (Smiles glumly)

I then looked away. My mum was engaged in a conversation with another promoter, she wanted to buy the microwave oven what-so-ever that the stall was promoting.

Promoter goes on again : Kamu ada kerja?

Me : Tak. Belajar lagi.

Promoter : Belajar? Tak mahu kerja ke?

Me : Habis belajar dulu lah.

Promoter : Owh. Brapa lame lagi mau habis?

Me : Dalam 2 tahun setengah lagi.

Promoter : Lamanya!! Nanti terus kerja la ye?

Me : A'ah. Mungkin sambung belajar lagi.

Promoter : Belajar lagi? Tak mau kerja ye?

Me : (smiles again. thinking when this pep talk is going to end)

Promoter : Kamu ada masak?

Me : (shakes head. actually I can cook but I knew it is going to make the conversation go on)

Promoter : Selalu makan di luar la?

Me : (nodds head)

Promoter : Owh. Tak bagus la. Nanti tak dapat vitamin tau.

Me : (smiles again)

Then I took out my handphone, to top up (before that I got the card, tapi belum top up yet), and then I smssed someone.

Promoter : Cantik nye handphone (upon seeing the handphone)

Me : (smiles)

Promoter : Balas sms boyfriend ye?

Me : Taklah. Tak de boyfriend.

Promoter : (laughs) Boleh saya tengok?

She begins looking at the pictures in the handphone, and checking out the music and all. Adalah gambar2 dalam OT, taken before (us in scrubs and all)

Promoter : Kamu belajar di hospital ye?

Me : (nodds head)

Promoter : Handphone ni bagus la. Bagi saya?

Me : (freaking hell no. but smiles anyway)

Promoter : Kamu takut darah tak?

Me : Dah biasa tengok dah.

Promoter : (smiles) Kamu percaya tak saya dah ada baby?

She is freakingly thin, but I kinda believe it.

Me : (nodds head)

Promoter : Memang saya ada. Umur die 9 bulan. Tapi dia duduk di perak.

Me : Siapa jaga? Mak mertua? Mak?

Promoter : Mak. Nanti die dalam umur 2, 3 tahun, boleh la tinggal di sini.

Me : Owh. Suami kerja mana?

Promoter : Danau kota.

Me : Owh.

Then my mum bought the microwave oven (finally), and I can get away from that promoter.


Does my face have "greet me" written on my forehead or something?